‘Live your life
Be light and free
You only live once
Be who you want to be’
Do you understand
The strain, the demand you place?
Between our pained shoulder blades
Pushing, pressing closer to the desk
We pray will get us good grades
How can I experience life
Locked away in a walk-in prison?
A vision of freedom reserved for two months in summer
This ideal, a division between two lives:
For the short term; for the long term
Will it all be worth it
Scuttling past with books and emptiness?
Because of depressive revision and ‘I must be healthy’
To appear petite, amongst the mountain of worry
And tears and anxiety and heart tremors
When will I be free?
Is it all a lie, whispered by those who did not care?
Do I dare to follow them?
Or should I stay in this worn-away chair?
Waiting to live
A poem I wrote, sifting through the hundreds of cue cards of information I have to regurgitate for the exams in two months.
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